I'm a fan of TomSka. Have been for a long time. I did not expect to be pulling a quote from one of his 2023 "Last Month" vlogs on the nature of personal goals and relationships, but here we are. (I've tidied this up a little, as video narration does not immediately translate to written text.)
You need to be the main character in your own story. You need to advocate for yourself. You need to push yourself forward, towards your goals. Just keep your story moving, and keep it entertaining. Approach life like you are a protagonist; conduct yourself in a manner befitting a main character.
However, you also need to do this with the humility and understanding that you are still a side character in everyone else's story.
You need to figure out when this is a "you" episode. When it's a "you" episode – a key moment in your story, your plot – you need to be the main character. But when you're in someone else's episode, you're just a side character. You need to play a support role; maybe comic relief, maybe a love interest (if you're lucky).
Because if you try to bring too much main character energy into someone else's life, you become the antagonist, you become the bad guy. You're stealing the spotlight. You're making things all about you. And you're making their life harder.
Main character in your own life; support role in other people's.
