The Gods of Egypt

½ based on 1 review.

tl;dr: Surprisingly boring. Not bad, just not really anything at all; perhaps the definition of soulless?


Spoilers Ahead: My reviews are not spoiler-free. You have been warned.

It's not even that The Gods of Egypt is a bad film, it's just an extremely dull one. You have a decent premise, competent-to-great special effects and a pretty solid cast and yet I feel like the film was written by manatee. In theory you should get a fun action fantasy, light-hearted and entertaining. What you actually get is boredom with added lens flare.

A large part of the problem is that none of the characters are more than a single identifying emotion. Our lead is a rebel, the gods are all arrogant... that's everyone. To call the characters two dimensional would be almost too kind. On top of which, the plot is cookie-cutter. I imagine you could show someone around five minutes of the exposition at the start of the film and they could predict the remaining two hours with less than 10% error margin. The love interest dies, but gets resurrected; the rebel learns to be a team player and trust others; the gods learn that they need to treat mortals with empathy; the bad guy is killed; everyone lives happily ever after. Oh, and a never-to-be sequel is set up that might actually have made a more interesting story.

And that's about all there is to The Gods of Egypt. I wouldn't say there's a single memorable performance, but nor are any of them horrific. Some of the ideas are okay, the world-building doesn't really happen so can't be overly critiqued and at least the special effects are kinda cool, though remain largely gratuitous. Honestly, if you want to see a tale of gods going to war against each other, watch American Gods. Heck, it even has some of the same mythical cast, but they're far more engaging and interesting. I'd recommend giving TGoE a miss.

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